By Jeff Bell.
When taking on leadership, there is something that we have to accept.
Or at least, re-evaluate.
This is our relationship with everyone. It may be the end of friendships of many.
It is because leadership has its own responsibilities.
There is the cause of the business–the heroic reason(s) that it exists.
We stand aside from everything we have grown up with to now look at the dynamics of the cause. No longer can we roam carefree within our business landscape because everything we say and everything we do has a consequence. Which means considering before we act and taking responsibility for our mistakes–of which there will be many.
In doing so, we find that yes, we are alone.
Those who were formerly our peers do not have the ultimate responsibility that we have now accepted. They will contribute to a decision, but as the leader, we make the final call. This is because there will be other factors at play that only we may know about. There may also be opposing points of view that we must consider. And when the outcome is favourable, they will deserve the accolades. When the outcome is poor, we take responsibility.
Those who are still our friends may be privy to all the details and while we may trust their skills and knowledge, their judgement will be clouded. Our friend is concerned about our friendship, not so much about the decision–and it is still the decision we have to make.
Our life partner will be sympathetic to the demands of our leadership role. They will know how we act–the good and the bad–when we are under pressure. They will deliver statements of support and suggestions to guide us away from making gaffs, if they can. But ultimately, our life partner’s concern is with the relationship. Not so much the decision, the business-wide dynamics and consequences.
This aloneness–which may at times feel like loneliness–is one of the most surprising things of leadership. Though we may have witnessed many leaders at work, actually occupying the leader’s seat is not just another position. It’s in a different dimension.
And there is more.
Without an appreciation of one’s own shortcomings and an appreciation of the odds, especially those stacked against, the leader is at a severe disadvantage. Fear is natural and it is to be faced—not blindly, but with eyes wide open. This is courage is leadership.
It also takes courage to be alone.
My definition of courage is taking decisive action, knowing full well the dangers involved:
Courage = Vulnerability + Humility + Danger + Action
This decisive action is based on crucial choices—deciding what is right, not necessarily comfortable.
Therefore, we set the agenda and show courage to brook disagreement, even if outnumbered—influencing people to our point of view. This will almost certainly involve personal risk. And it will leave us vulnerable, until others rally to the cause.
And we need that courage to hold fast. We see it in politics, but waiting to see which way the wind blows before speaking up is craven. We need to influence and ultimately shape, not timidly follow, opinion.
Our people will become inspired to follow the cause because it will offer them the opportunity to do something worthwhile in their role. Something that is above and beyond what they may achieve by themselves. They will even put aside their own safety if it’s a truly compelling cause, seizing their own opportunity to be courageous.
We ask BOLA members–each a business owner and/or leader–to reflect on what has prompted their search and what continues to drive their involvement in the group. Among others, they invariably come up with:
“While I draw on a very capable team, there are some decisions that can only be made in private–often on my own. It is great to bounce ideas off someone who has walked in my shoes so they can give me support when I need it and the unvarnished truth when I’m about to hesitate or if I falter.”
In BOLA, we accept being alone, but we are never lonely.
All that we have to accept, is here.