Do you ever say: “I’m a cynic.”?
It may when you are doubtful about someone else’s motives, accuracy of word or commitment.
For instance, “He said that no-one would lose their job in this change, but I’m a cynic.”
You may couple this with a claim to many disappointments: “I’ve seen it all before—I have every right to be cynical.” Or: “I’m a realist—I just see what other people don’t.” You may even deliver the assessment with a sarcastic sneer.
Cynicism is defined as not trusting or respecting the goodness of other people and their actions. A cynic believes that people are interested only in themselves, that they are selfish.
Cynicism may be taken on as a career, or it may be a temporary response among those lacking experience or self-confidence, in an attempt to appear wiser than the person feels. They may also take on the cloak of the:
- Defeatist, who expects or is excessively ready to accept failure.
- Fatalist, who believes that we are powerless to do anything other than what we actually do.
- Pessimist, whosees the worst aspect of things or believes that the worst will happen.
We all grow up with a life script that is formed in early childhood, based mainly on rules learned from our parents. In this Life Positions model, “OK-ness” is a matter of myconvictions about me and my convictions about you. There are 4 Positions, 2 of which harbour the Cynic:
- “I’m OK with me, you are not OK with me.” When stressed, I will conclude that I can’t rely on anyone so will dismiss them and do it myself. I place myself one-up on others. At worst, I may harm or kill others. This is the paranoid position.
- “I’m not OK with me, you are not OK with me.” When stressed, I feel that I can’t cope and neither can others around me. I am no good, other people and/or the world is no good. At worst, I am at risk of self-harm and suicide. This is the futility position.
Neither of these Life Positions is likely to lead to a happy life or to produce an effective team member or leader. Further, if this is you as a leader, it will be reflected in your followers and your organisation.
So, are you really a cynic? Or could you be a sceptic—someone whodoubts that something is true or useful—taking everything with a pinch of salt: “She said that the new remedy could cure cancer, but I’m sceptical.”
Scepticism is reserving judgement, not being easily convinced.
In my world, not easily convinced, is a long way from believing that people are untrustworthy or selfish. It probably means that you have not made a judgement and that you are then capable of changing your mind or your outlook based on new evidence. You are flexible and are not necessarily over-invested in being right.
On this side of the ledger you may also be a:
- Stoicist, who endures pain or hardship without the display of feelings and without complaint.
- Realist, who has or shows a sensible and practical idea of what can be achieved or expected.
- Optimist, whotends to be hopeful and confident about the future or the success of something.
- Idealist, who is guided more by ideals than by practical considerations.
The Life Positions model posits that we can choose to be aware, proactive adults.As leaders, this is mandatory. This is the Healthy Life Position:
“I’m OK with me, you are OK with me. I have value and dignity and so do the people I deal with. I will find a way to work with others for good outcomes.”
Each of these Positions—positive and negative—is a choice that dictates how we see and feel about the world. They will also draw certain behaviours from those who see us as a leader.
Oscar Wilde said:
“A cynic is someone who knows the price of everything, but the value of nothing.”
Are you really a cynic?
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